tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post763158440713479725..comments2024-02-28T05:22:16.853-05:00Comments on I Won't Fear Love: Pretty sentencesJuliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09745262857388007041noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-5831472981775285572008-12-04T09:50:00.000-05:002008-12-04T09:50:00.000-05:00you're seriously nuts, and I mean that with love h...you're seriously nuts, and I mean that with love ha ha ha. not like you were busy or tired or anything since August...<BR/><BR/>I'm glad he is okay, whew, its never ending, the worries...<BR/><BR/>i write to get it out, let it go, get another point of view and see it in black and white really. check if I am as nuts as I think I am :) that help?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-11092134138933858782008-11-27T14:28:00.000-05:002008-11-27T14:28:00.000-05:00i write mostly about things i don't talk so well a...i write mostly about things i don't talk so well about. and yet sickness and sadness things that are NOT grief are hard for me, especially in narrative, b/c i feel like compared to the silent chapter of deadbaby any shit that i struggle with now is kind of...petty. or might be dismissed that way, or seen as me somehow dishonouring what went before by freaking out over this tiny little speck that is the now. plus it makes me feel morose, like i have license for so much drama/sorrow, but beyond that i'm just wallowing.<BR/><BR/>lately, all i've got is wallowing, hence the sporadic posting.Bonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14403701620708365171noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-53727405007554476842008-11-27T12:09:00.000-05:002008-11-27T12:09:00.000-05:00I'm so glad the Cub is better, and I know what you...I'm so glad the Cub is better, and I know what you mean about how difficult it is to write about some of the things that are the hardest. There are so so many things I still can't write about. <BR/><BR/>You know, it doesn't have to be pretty for me. I'll read whatever you write.Aureliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13691032415028867902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-22549214753121883102008-11-26T22:35:00.000-05:002008-11-26T22:35:00.000-05:00I'm glad your babe is okay, and I have no idea why...I'm glad your babe is okay, and I have no idea why I write. It's an outlet, a scrapbook, a place to scribble.Magpiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15460136246441367993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-26117420997143715542008-11-26T22:33:00.000-05:002008-11-26T22:33:00.000-05:00Well, here's the thing: I write when I have somet...Well, here's the thing: I write when I have something to say, and I've kinda made it clear in my head that my blog is a space to talk about my grief. Obviously lately what I have to say gets spaced out over a week or so, which I think is part recovery, and part my life is so effin' busy now (which, is also part of recovery in a way).<BR/><BR/>But I'm wondering if you didn't write about it (spitballin' here) for a while, or feel uncomfortable, because that is what this blog is for you? A place more for you and A and your grief and on, and that when you discuss M and Cub it's in relation to A? And you were wondering what the relation was to A here.<BR/><BR/>On the one hand, none. Different kids, different circumstances, and cub, knock wood, is home sleeping soundly with a smile on his wee face right now. On the other, there's the fear, the anxious mother freak out, the sad familiarity with the seriousness and the medical and on. <BR/><BR/>It's pretty writing, yes, but it's all a tangled web of relation.<BR/><BR/>Oh, and phew.Tashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07376651134993450207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-45014708819609476762008-11-26T16:56:00.000-05:002008-11-26T16:56:00.000-05:00I'm so glad that the Cub is ok. How scary it must ...I'm so glad that the Cub is ok. How scary it must have been in real time.<BR/><BR/>And you really have me thinking now about how and why I blog. Thank you for making me think.Serenityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17765237663006604157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-28344675965223857312008-11-26T14:11:00.000-05:002008-11-26T14:11:00.000-05:00So glad he's feeling better. Zack had that at 10 ...So glad he's feeling better. Zack had that at 10 weeks and it was pretty scarry.<BR/><BR/>I write however it comes out. Sometimes pretty, sometimes clumbsy sounding but it helps me to process my experiences so I just keep doing it.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01879753863902363299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-2890384890836277152008-11-26T13:56:00.000-05:002008-11-26T13:56:00.000-05:00I'm so glad the Cub is OK. Even if, in retrospect,...I'm so glad the Cub is OK. Even if, in retrospect, it was not all that harrowing, I'm sure at the time it was very draining for all of you.<BR/><BR/>I love the questions you ask in this post. You've really got me thinking. Thank you.Snickollethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-51133406538079743402008-11-26T12:21:00.000-05:002008-11-26T12:21:00.000-05:00(((hugs))) So glad the little Cub is OK! Really in...(((hugs))) So glad the little Cub is OK! <BR/><BR/>Really interesting observations! I agree that I write, in part, "to make our stories, our voices, our children matter." I also write as a form of catharsis -- it feels soooo good to vent my feelings on paper/screen from time to time. And I write as a way of remembering, of capturing thoughts & memories & emotions. As Lori said, it's difficult to talk about these things, even with family & friends, unless they have experienced something similar themselves. It's easier sometimes to write it all out. And if someone out there in cyberspace likes or relates to what I've written on my blog, all the better. : ) <BR/><BR/>It ain't always pretty (or as pretty as I'd like it to be, lol). I read some bloggers & am just in awe of their ability to use words so well. (You, for example!) I do try to pick the right words to express how I'm feeling or thinking, & to construct a cohesive narrative. I think by trying to make sense on paper/screen, so that others can understand what I'm trying to say, I'm processing my own thoughts & feelings on the matter, if that makes sense?loribethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-40717258623850518662008-11-26T10:37:00.000-05:002008-11-26T10:37:00.000-05:00((hugs)) for the scare. I don't know how you stay ...((hugs)) for the scare. I don't know how you stay so calm and collected. That WAS a scare!<BR/><BR/>You know I don't write. Mostly I vomit. Literally throw up all over the internet. For me, it's a form of release. If I can make pretty sentences, it's an incentive. Writing for me is mostly catharthic though.<BR/>Thanks for your comment on my blog, it was so sweet to hear from you again. xoxojanishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14326099151319592743noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-52152854832754868542008-11-26T10:21:00.000-05:002008-11-26T10:21:00.000-05:00I know that I absolutely started writing my blog a...I know that I absolutely started writing my blog as a way to make Molly and Joseph more real- to the world, to myself... I also needed a place to say all of the things I just couldn't say to anyone else. <BR/><BR/>So, for me, maybe that is the difference. I would have no trouble relating verbally a scary incident at the hospital with one of my living children (so long as it turned out okay) to anyone and everyone. Re-living my time at the hospital with Molly and Joseph. I can barely talk about that with even my closest friends. So, I write.<BR/><BR/>I am so very thankful Cub is okay. I am also thankful he has such an attentive mama. I read stories like this and wonder to myself, "Would I have noticed that??" I hope I would. I'm glad you did.Lorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05528541804521203406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-35262872880692484562008-11-26T09:59:00.000-05:002008-11-26T09:59:00.000-05:00I am very glad to hear Cub is okay, Julia. The who...I am very glad to hear Cub is okay, Julia. The whole experience sounds scary, more so if you know the sky could fall at any time.<BR/><BR/>I quite like your explanation for why we write quite well. Initially, it was a way for me to make C real. I guess I have come to learn that he is only real to those who care enough to read my blog, and alas, that isn't everybody. <BR/><BR/>I do believe writing allows me to put my emotions to words, and very specific words. It's important for me that I convey exactly what I feel...and I'm not exactly sure why that is. Maybe it's just because I have the time to pay attention to my writing, time that was supposed to be spent on my son.<BR/><BR/>Interesting post...c.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02933776400434137451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-26155276166377404382008-11-26T09:47:00.000-05:002008-11-26T09:47:00.000-05:00Well, I don't write right now. My Baby Man has bee...Well, I don't write right now. My Baby Man has been experiencing an endless stream of illness this fall-ear infection, pneumonia, ear infection, ear infection, bronchiolitis. That's about all I can say/think right now.<BR/><BR/>But I wanted to chime in and express my thanks that the Cub is ok. Seriously, it sounds like you were amazingly calm and collected throughout the whole. Or is that just the wording? Take care.Sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03887313952590843057noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-54401134760329788542008-11-26T09:33:00.000-05:002008-11-26T09:33:00.000-05:00Yes. Yes. Fears and thoughts and racing hearts, we...Yes. Yes. Fears and thoughts and racing hearts, we know these. We know lightening strikes. And if it can strike once, why not twice. <BR/><BR/>Hugs Julia. But more than that, you are doing great. Which you know, but everyone can use a reminder.Mrs. Spithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03386820063407910064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-8947965726842342008-11-26T09:25:00.000-05:002008-11-26T09:25:00.000-05:00It took me a while to write about T's hospital...It took me a while to write about T's hospitalization & surgery last summer....a whole month i think. And it took me writing the story in detail to let go of it and re-normalize. So i guess that is the answer to your question too...writing is cathartic for me. When i am depressed, though, i don't write. Not anything substantive, anyway.<BR/><BR/>I am very glad he is doing better. 'Scary' doesn't really cover it, huh?katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16536809590856333391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-15771786030257589322008-11-26T07:38:00.000-05:002008-11-26T07:38:00.000-05:00So glad the little guy is ok. I can relate a littl...So glad the little guy is ok. I can relate a little bit...Sam was diagnosed with Reactive Airway Disorder at a very young age. Every time he gets a cold, the wheezing starts. But I remember that fear when he couldn't breathe...and that was before any dead baby experience. <BR/><BR/>I tend to write as I talk. Verbal diarrhea, if you will. It just comes out...with very little filtering or revising. It doesn't make mine the prettiest blog to read, but I'm ok with that.Catherinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01160908955133304449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-58941681394030098542008-11-26T06:15:00.000-05:002008-11-26T06:15:00.000-05:00Glad to hear that the Cub is fine. Why and how I w...Glad to hear that the Cub is fine. Why and how I write -- food for thought, thank you.Ameliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10483756694695666215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-25825888546807265282008-11-26T03:09:00.000-05:002008-11-26T03:09:00.000-05:00Oh, oh, oh. Just ... oh. I'm glad the Cub is doi...Oh, oh, oh. Just ... oh. I'm glad the Cub is doing better, but just wish I could show up at your door and leave you a big bottle of wine and a nice dinner. Because while Cub is at an age where he just rolls with it and moves on to the next thing, such episodes have a way of sticking to a mom like cactus needles. <BR/><BR/>I've written some about Little A's health issues over the past year, but like you, I often leave things out, or delay writing until I come up with a more positive arc of the story. While I am probably also struggling with that "pretty words" thing, for me there is another aspect to it too. The thing that got me through all my pregancy terror, grief, and woe a few years back was the idea that my kids would be safer out in the world than they were in my screwy womb. That was the rule I clung to, the finish line I dragged towards when the going was so tough. <BR/><BR/>To now admit to myself that delivery was a false finish line ... that the peril doesn't disappear once the kid is on the outside? Well, that is utterly crazy making. I cannot figure out how to peacefully exist with that reality. So mostly I try to ignore it, and that means anything I write about Little A not being 100 percent healthy is very long on little details and short on the big picture issues. Because in this one area of life, I don't WANT the big picture!Wabihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00325505487775250447noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-23807915117332341832008-11-26T01:37:00.000-05:002008-11-26T01:37:00.000-05:00first I'm so glad the cub is ok. how scary that m...first I'm so glad the cub is ok. how scary that must have been. <BR/><BR/>I think we all write for different reasons and at different points in our experience. I love hearing about other people's processes -- like your writing as graduation for your thoughts. <BR/><BR/>sometimes I write to process my experience as I'm feeling it, which tends to be more raw. other times I write as reflection back, in which case I may be more inclined to tinker.lunahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15455301696832647867noreply@blogger.com