tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post8305685497351737103..comments2024-02-28T05:22:16.853-05:00Comments on I Won't Fear Love: Ok, but the cab thing was just gratuitousJuliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09745262857388007041noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-55442368324640450712008-05-05T21:56:00.000-04:002008-05-05T21:56:00.000-04:00I loved the end of your story - about meeting JD b...I loved the end of your story - about meeting JD by the dorm after all that time. I'd love to know more - it sounds like an interesting story.EmmaLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01976963296705941968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-30804946466312300982008-05-01T08:54:00.000-04:002008-05-01T08:54:00.000-04:00Surely that fills up your quota of crappy days for...Surely that fills up your quota of crappy days for a while.Caseyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16513928061453431024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-7616076762675466762008-04-30T14:05:00.000-04:002008-04-30T14:05:00.000-04:00It's too much. It is the opposite of the Dayenu s...It's too much. It is the opposite of the Dayenu song--if it were only the loss, if it were only the child, if it were only a family separated--with one sibling above ground and another below--but to not have the things within control: the grass in the cemetery, the placement of a marker--it is just too much.<BR/><BR/>I will be sending so many empowering thoughts to you tomorrow during the meeting.Lollipop Goldsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-83310331757452077562008-04-30T10:15:00.000-04:002008-04-30T10:15:00.000-04:00Whew.That is so insanely upsetting about the cemet...Whew.<BR/><BR/>That is so insanely upsetting about the cemetary. I mean, WTF??? That awkward guy should be FIRED if you ask me. <BR/><BR/>I hope for some easier days for you coming!katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16536809590856333391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-43409532433687154862008-04-30T04:27:00.000-04:002008-04-30T04:27:00.000-04:00I am so stuck on the fact that the guy didn't not ...I am so stuck on the fact that the guy didn't not utter the word 'sorry' - absolutely flabbergasted. This just should never, ever happen; good luck for Thursday.<BR/><BR/>xmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00569367600135631710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-56323760326607510402008-04-29T20:57:00.000-04:002008-04-29T20:57:00.000-04:00I hope today was better than yesterday. I hope th...I hope today was better than yesterday. I hope the people at the cemetary realize how insensitive they are.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-88021135164950332882008-04-29T20:01:00.000-04:002008-04-29T20:01:00.000-04:00i was so upset reading about that stupid cemetery ...i was so upset reading about that stupid cemetery jerk. obviously an insensitive idiot. i'm sorry you had to deal with that and the rain and trying not to cry and the shuttle.<BR/><BR/>i'm glad the day ended sweetly.wannabe momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00975160438211356349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-18955266021578157102008-04-29T19:52:00.000-04:002008-04-29T19:52:00.000-04:00That really was one heck of a cluster. You win for...That really was one heck of a cluster. You win for today. Heck: for the week. Never have a few sips of wine been so earned.<BR/><BR/>love to you... and a good night's sleep and yummy food and homey times and all those things that diffuse crap days like this one.sweetsalty katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15822876211091242851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-70029581319063992522008-04-29T19:18:00.000-04:002008-04-29T19:18:00.000-04:00It amazes me that people get away with such behavi...It amazes me that people get away with such behavior. Doesn't anyone get *training* anymore? <BR/><BR/>And more power to you on your meeting with the director. I've been procrastinating on calling the "office of decedent affairs" from the hospital where I delivered with my questions and complaints. I just don't know if I can stand more of the same. <BR/><BR/>We got the invitation to the local hospital's service at the town cemetery, in the "babyland" section in the back. I'm afraid to even look. <BR/><BR/>p.s. Freaking shuttle driver! It's always on the rainy days, too. Glad the day ended on a good note, after all that.Suehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03812637630030228124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-54704867801515872962008-04-29T14:42:00.000-04:002008-04-29T14:42:00.000-04:00Oh Julia, what a day you had. I'm sorry for the st...Oh Julia, what a day you had. I'm sorry for the stupid cementary employees, and I hope you feel better after the meeting with the president.<BR/>Glad that it turned into a good evening, though.Ameliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10483756694695666215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-67369997638066292132008-04-29T13:32:00.000-04:002008-04-29T13:32:00.000-04:00Sheesh, that Mr Awkward!! I am so sorry about this...Sheesh, that Mr Awkward!! I am so sorry about this crazy graveyard business, I hope the meeting with the president sets things right, once and for all. Do they think they can take liberties with the dead?!<BR/>I am glad though, that the day did end on a nice note. Phew.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-30859734491286437262008-04-29T13:31:00.000-04:002008-04-29T13:31:00.000-04:00Ack. I'm sorry that you had to go through all tha...Ack. I'm sorry that you had to go through all that. I'm thinking of getting a t-shirt made up "Don't Fuck with Me!" Would you like one?thricehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09528308384855206125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-28885863917065389502008-04-29T13:19:00.000-04:002008-04-29T13:19:00.000-04:00gratuitous indeed.i am so sorry about that guy, an...gratuitous indeed.<BR/><BR/>i am so sorry about that guy, and a part of me very snidely hopes he perhaps finds work in another, different field...like say landscaping, or something not requiring apologies of quite so serious a nature.<BR/><BR/>i agree with the others about not needing to lie to Monkey, necessarily. but what you think will sit best with her is up to you...you will do right by her, one way or the other. and by A.<BR/><BR/>i am glad you & JD had a minute or two for a happy remembrance at the end of a day like that. but yuck...a day like that.Bonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14403701620708365171noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-69760719745884776352008-04-29T12:33:00.000-04:002008-04-29T12:33:00.000-04:00I'm sorry, about every single bit of your day, exc...I'm sorry, about every single bit of your day, except the end and the bit of wine. I hope it was consolation for a day that was terrible, awful and horribly unfair.Mrs. Spithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03386820063407910064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-88547010813045886232008-04-29T11:50:00.000-04:002008-04-29T11:50:00.000-04:00what a terrible day.i'm so sorry.and God! could t...what a terrible day.<BR/><BR/>i'm so sorry.<BR/><BR/>and God! could those cemetery workers have been ANY less sensitive?Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05602868040771218507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-41345776419608672882008-04-29T11:18:00.000-04:002008-04-29T11:18:00.000-04:00What a day! Your day contained about a hundred of...What a day! Your day contained about a hundred of things I like least in the world. Talking with people I don't know on the phone... talking with clueless people about my dead babies... trying to make a clueless person understand something personal... trying to get places on time and not succeeding... on and on and on...<BR/><BR/>I'm so glad you had a peaceful end to such an awful day. And I am hopeful that your meeting with the President will yield some much needed changes and greater understanding. If anyone can make that happen, it is you. I'm so sorry it is necessary.Lorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05528541804521203406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-90492766402173258392008-04-29T11:09:00.000-04:002008-04-29T11:09:00.000-04:00Ultimately, I'm glad you had a sweet ending to a b...Ultimately, I'm glad you had a sweet ending to a bad day. <BR/><BR/>I can't comprehend the bizarre behavior of the cemetery employees. Insensitive seems not quite to capture it. Unprofessional? Clearly they don't perform the duties of their job properly. And in their role, being unprofessional doesn't just mean doing a bad job, it means insulting and hurting people.<BR/><BR/>I am glad you are meeting with the president. I didn't bother after our debacle last year because honestly she seemed to stupid to comprehend anything I had to say and I wanted to slap the condescension right out of her.<BR/><BR/>I am glad you are working on the marker.Sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03887313952590843057noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-29628840903894000102008-04-29T11:06:00.000-04:002008-04-29T11:06:00.000-04:00I can't believe you were able to enjoy dinner afte...I can't believe you were able to enjoy dinner after all that, Julia.<BR/><BR/>Mr. Awkward needs a kick in the teeth. How dare he say the things he said. And does he believe apologizing makes him a lesser man? What an awful, awful person to have fronting the biz. It makes me so sad to even have to call it a business, but that's what it is. Tash is so right when she says deadbabies aren't the money makers. How incredibly sad is it that it always has to come down to money? Even dignity. <BR/><BR/>Can't wait to hear how the meeting with the president goes. Seriously.c.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02933776400434137451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-2127434802175532732008-04-29T11:01:00.000-04:002008-04-29T11:01:00.000-04:00What an awful day.I cannot get over the cemetery p...What an awful day.<BR/><BR/>I cannot get over the cemetery people. Good for you for insisting on a face-to-face.Snickollethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-46983590685880080072008-04-29T10:06:00.000-04:002008-04-29T10:06:00.000-04:00The cemetery thing has my blood pressure up. "gri...The cemetery thing has my blood pressure up. "grieving is for the living, dignity is not an option." This should be their motto, their creed. How they can go by any other standard and blindly take your money makes my hair stand on end. Reams have been written on this industry, but I think this is a fresh niche of insult that demands further investigation. I know your emotional reserves are taxed, but I would take this public starting with the Jewish news. This isn't just about them treating *you* like crap and just another customer, it's about society treating the scourge of deadbabies as something we can flippantly throw in the back because it's not the big money-maker -- they don't need the big coffins, the big markers, the big funerals. Kinda like we're treated by everyone else. Who cares about mowing? Move on already.<BR/><BR/>As per Monkey: frankly, I think if you don't make a big deal of it, she won't either. (and here I mean, don't make a big deal of it in front of her. Make as big a deal of it as you wish to elsewhere!) A simple "*we* thought he was here, keeping this child company, but it turns out he's here, keeping this other child company. And it's all ok, because he's still here, in this area, with all of these other lovely children, and when we remember one, we pay respects to all." <BR/><BR/>My dad's car died on the freeway last week, and after a flurry of phone calls, realized it would be hours before AAA could come. Rather than sit on a narrow shoulder, he walked home six miles. Must be going around. I'm so sorry for your long day, and your blown anniversary. Maybe the metaphor is simply something about long and convoluted roads eventually leading us home.Tashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07376651134993450207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-15659447248181773282008-04-29T09:38:00.001-04:002008-04-29T09:38:00.001-04:00Oh, Julia - what a day.I'm glad it ended well, and...Oh, Julia - what a day.<BR/><BR/>I'm glad it ended well, and I wish you luck when you skewer the cemetery director on Thursday.Magpiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15460136246441367993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-5591393722245423942008-04-29T09:38:00.000-04:002008-04-29T09:38:00.000-04:00Julia, I am dismayed by the fact that the funeral ...Julia, <BR/>I am dismayed by the fact that the funeral home seems so non-chalant about all of it. How dare they even consider moving a marker and NOT putting it back. This is not a place to move "things." We have lost our children and no, we don't want them to lose their "spot" in this life. It seems to me that they may need more of a tongue lashing from others too. I wish you luck in setting them straight. <BR/><BR/>I agree with Kalakly, I wouldn't lie to Monkey either, tell her the truth. You know kids, once you tell them a lie, if they find out later they hold it against you. <BR/><BR/>I am thinking of you and hope that all gets resolved appropriately for you and A.Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00912286121374215944noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-60514475659841428482008-04-29T08:14:00.000-04:002008-04-29T08:14:00.000-04:00what a long long day. I never could or will compre...what a long long day. I never could or will comprehend why people who are terrible around and with other people get jobs dealing with people. It's like becoming a teacher knowing full well you dislike children. why? I am so sorry that you were treated that way and that you had to deal with all that. I am glad that dinner was good and the end of the evening seemed like a lifetime from the rest of the days tribulations. big hugs!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8214358853640360621.post-60203688891839090222008-04-29T00:47:00.000-04:002008-04-29T00:47:00.000-04:00Julia,Oh, how I hate stupid people, stupid insensi...Julia,<BR/>Oh, how I hate stupid people, stupid insensitive ones that refuse to even try to understand the grief of a parent. You shouldn't have to deal with that, not ever. I am glad the president was more sympathetic and I hope he makes good on his assurances to you. A children's graveyard should not be neglected, should not be an afterthought, it should be a beautiful place where parents and siblings can come to seek peace and comfort and see things of beauty when they remember thier child, nothing less.<BR/>I don't think you need to lie to Monkey. I think you can tell her that the people at the cemetary made a mistake in where they put the marker and that you have had them correct it. It doesn't mean that she has not been leaving flowers for A or has not been visiting him, it means they made a terrible mistake and it is now fixed. Monkey is so smart, I can't imagine her not understanding both the mistake and your anger and sadness at it. I hate for you to have to lie to her, ever, especially about something like this, but I understand why you would want to...<BR/>At least the end of the day sounds lovely and warm oh and happy too. You deserve happy, you really do:)k@laklyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05366772609212990882noreply@blogger.com