Friday, June 19, 2009

Free Your Goat Fridays: Still Blingless

Yes, it's that day of the week again, the day, I know, you've all been waiting for. We'll let the uninitiated think that the excitement is all about the weekend ahead, the laundry piling up in anticipation of all the copious free time you think you will have during said weekend, or all of your planned outside activities, that, if you live in my city, are sure to be rained out. Unlike the uninitiated, though, we know the truth-- the excitement is all about the impending arrival of the second installment of Free Your Goat Fridays. And what do you know-- it's not impending anymore-- it has arrived. Feel free to cheer now.

Yes, we are still blingless, but let not that deter you from setting your goats free. Tell us what got your individual goats this week, and let them roam free!

Here are mine.

Goat-getter the First, or No shit, are you syndicated?

This one's short and sour. I purchased some toys over these here interwebs. Bath toys, to be exact. The kind Monkey loved to pieces all those many years ago. It seems they are not as popular now, and I could only find a couple of online retailers that carry them, no physical store in my area. So what was I rewarded with for my trouble? As is customary, retailer sent me a confirmation email. As is less customary (I hope), this particular retailer distinguished its email with this gem:

Thank You for your purchase and enjoy. Please visit us again as we will be adding new products. Cherish your children as Life's Greatest Gift.

No, really, faceless online retailer? You think I don't? Cherish my children? Or maybe I do, but not enough to fit the Life's Greatest Gift (note capitalization-- all that's missing is the TM symbol) criterion? Or do you think that all that stands between me and cherishing my children as prescribed is your aptly placed advice in imperative mood? Grrrrrr.....

Oh, and ETA: And, is it, dear retailer, mandatory for one to have living children, to, you know, cherish as prescribed, in order to buy bath toys? What if, and stop me if you've never considered this, the one making the purchase is a battle-weary infertile or a bereaved parent, buying yet another gift for yet another baby shower? You think maybe, if you feel entitled to dispense this particular flavor of unsolicited advice, you might also be so kind as to ship, by way of a free gift with purchase, a child or three, to, you know, cherish?

Goat-getter the Second, or Oh, we find it cozy

My office, the one we moved into. The furniture is still not there. The shelves are there, but not secured, and we can't unpack our boxes because we can't be sure at what height to place the shelves without seeing them in relation to our desks. Which, we heard today, are not going to be arriving until Tuesday. Which will make it just over two weeks since we moved. So we are working on some tables that we dragged in, barricaded among the many boxes the three of us own. Yiiiihaa! Yes, that was one of the reasons why I decided to go visit my parents this week.

So? Your goats? Will you share? Mine are free, but oh, so lonely.

P.S. The lack of bling is the situation I hope to remedy by next Friday. Provided, of course, I am not just talking to myself here.


Mrs. Spit said...

- Bosses that interrupt you in the middle of a thought, community meetings that are held in non air conditioned buildings on hot days, with all the doors and windows closed, to keep the media from hearing.

Beruriah said...

- Little boys who bang on the door announcing, "outside want now," and then won't hold still to get their shoes and socks on, but then cry because they aren't outside yet.

Oh wait, I don't think that's quite the thing you were looking for. But it was the one thing that has tried my patience today.

S said...

I have so many "goats" that if I loosed them all, it would be Goat-Fest 2009 over here. ;-) So just to mention a few. . .

*Drivers who think it's OK to cut me off just because they put their blinker on (a second before changing lanes).

*People who give me tips about TTC like "you should take your temperature every day" or "the Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor worked for us." I know their intentions are good, but I want to respond with "Don't you think that after over a year of trying I might have thought of that?!" Geesh.

Beruriah said...

Oh man, S has listed my favorite kind of goat. The, "here's some advice since you're clearly a dumbass" goat.

WTH? Who hasn't heard of Clear Blue Easy? Sorry you've been subjected to that, S.

Julia said...

Damn, Mrs. Spit, for realz? I don't do hot, and especially not in the summer. I am thinking that someone *cough, cough* may have been sorely tempted to tell the media what went on, just as retaliation for that sort of treatment.

And yes, S, I'm with Beruriah there. So glad they think so highly of your competence as to seriously think you haven't yet tried the ABCs. You think they would enjoy a reply in the form of a long-winded lecture on mechanics of ovulation and implantation? Wink.

Kymberli said...

I have a deadbeat sister. I love my nephew as my son, and my sister treats him more like a nephew. It's rolling up on a year since we've had him. I'm not taking score and it's not about the money. When Frank and I took custody of him we knew that it was for an indefinite amount of time but that it would likely be forever. The fact that she doesn't have him is not what bothers me. The fact that she doesn't help provide for him financially doesn't even mother me much. What DOES bother me is the fact that we were supposed to be taking him so that she could "get on her feet," whether that meant she would eventually get him back or not. We specifically said, "If, in your time away, you decide that he's better of with us and even if you are able to support yourself, he will ways be welcome here. We have his best interests at heart, just like I know you do." We knew going into this that it would likely be a lifelong commitment and I transitioned into the mindset of having five children.

What has she done in the past two years? NOTHING. She sits at home (my mom's place) and plays Mafia Wars all damned day. She has had job after job opportunity slip through her fingers because she was "too scared" to follow-up on job leads, even the really good ones that just came floating to her hand-delivered on a silver platter. She could have had a nice, cushy job with full benefits teaching basic computer courses at the same technical college she graduated from BUT NO! She was too chickenshit to call back so she lost it.

So that's one goat. Another goat is the fact that my mom, who is a kick-ass family counselor known all through Georgia, is totally enabling my sister to be a deadbeat. My sis sits in her tired little room where the only contact she has with the outside world are her Mafia Wars "friends" and other Internet-only acquaintances. I'm not knocking Internet friends in the least. But umm...most of us have lives outside of the Internet; she doesn't. She has the Internet, food, satellite TV, phone, and empty threats and unfulfilled ultimatums from my mom. June 15 my sister was supposed to be kicked out. Where is she today? Playing Mafia Wars. And on top of that, she's only a sub-par mom, even when it comes down to the level of only just being there for him. She comes to "spend time" with him, but she'll sleep until 1pm, play MW, take a nap, play MW, *might* go outside to play with him or watch a movie, then MW, then stay up late all night either watching TV or talking on the phone. And playing MW.

What REALLY gets my goat about the whole situation is the fact that my nephew is a gem. I'm here in the ALI community and there are tons of people who would give their right legs to have a child, and here my sister is with a winning lottery ticket and she's too stupid to realize what a huge gift she has and won't cash it in.

I can't vent about that stuff on my own blog because what else does she sit there and do all day? Read my damned blog.

There's a whole farmful of goats for you.

Julia said...

Oh, man, Kym... this is tough. Especially the part about your mom. I feel like buying you a cocktail. With a pile of chocolate on the side. One day, if you are feeling up to it, would you tell me how your nephew is seeing this whole situation? And the rest of the kids too.

Miryam (mama o' the matrices) said...

Oh, there are no goats attached to a rainy day and two boys stuck inside. While their mama is trying to cook, bake, wash and possibly keep them from committing fratricide.

That's just a slug of scotch, waiting to happen. Blended scotch, because why waste the good stuff on anasthesia?

This week's goat would have to be relatives who complain about not getting enough visit time, but then also can't pick up a phone to call after a death in the family. And the people who then assume that we'll drive for most of a day to see these relatives, BEFORE going to see my mother, whom we have yet to visit, since her return from the funeral and shiva (mourning week). Because heaven forfend that we should not visit the squeaky wheels.

Kymberli said...

I said it's been a year since we've had him. We're actually rolling up on TWO years since we've had him. I've been throwing around the idea of starting a private blog, and now might be the time to do so. There's TONS that I could tell you about how the kids as a whole and TJ specifically deals with the situation.

Julia said...

Kym, I thought it's been two, since you've been blogging longer than a year, and I think they were El Cinco already when you started.
Definitely a cocktail. Or five.

loribeth said...

- People who send you a long list of questions/requests for information -- at 4 p.m. on a Friday afternoon. ARGH!!!

Lisa b said...

Your NICU social worker, now pregnant, gushing and telling you she is so happy that the baby is fine.
I think my face went gave away my brains reaction of 'Fine??' but then I remembered that the whole time dealing with her was like that. Apparently bad stuff just happens to the rest of us.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

Late but I kept leaving you unread so I could return. Goats--when people leave a message without saying what its about. The worst, of course, are doctors ("Hey Melissa, I'd like you to call me." Click.), but also everyone else because even if it doesn't sound serious, you can prioritize. Plus, if it's too late to call them back, you stay up all night wondering what the phone call could be about and worrying.

I have more, but I feel like I should spread out the bitching if this will be held every Friday...

niobe said...

Here's a question. And it's even tangentially relevant.

I always thought that "get your goat" meant that (metaphorically, of course) someone had stolen your goat. Or at least woken it up from its peaceful sleep. I know I could look it up, but I'm wondering what the derivation of the phrase is.