I noticed that I am not a big fan of seeing people I haven't seen since before A died. Even perfectly nice people who I am pretty sure will not say anything stupid. Or maybe not. The one exception I made gladly was driving for about 2.5 hours each way to see my best friend from college (let's call her Samantha) and her mom about two weeks back. Thinking back on that, I think with Sam and her mom I was sure beyond the shadow of a doubt that I was safe. I wanted to see them, needed even.
In light of that, not looking forward to this weekend's trip probably means that I am not as sure I will be entirely safe with the friends we are going to see this weekend. I am almost positive that I am wrong, though. Almost.
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About Me
- Julia
- Dealing with life after the death and stillbirth of my son. The title of this blog comes from a song by Sarah McLachlan.
glow in the woods
Things that maybe possibly could turn out to be useful
Because Mel said so
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5 comments:
Thanks for your comment on my blog. All my appendages are crossed as well.
Josh and I are still very cautious about who we see. We won't for example go to random departmental social events for fear of someone ruining our day. I may not be able to scream at well-meaning stupid comments, but I can do my best to avoid them. I hope you're pleasantly surprised by your friends.
Hope your weekend went well and your friends didn't say or do anything cruel or thoughtless.
I don't really like seeing or talking to anyone who knows about my loss. I feel much more comfortable with people who have no idea. In a sense, I regret having told people who weren't going to find out.
But it sounds like you're coping much better than I am.
Thank you.
It was ok, pleasant even. They didn't say anything stupid, and in fact we had a couple of good talks.
But I also figured out that I am not yet ready for too much fun.
Julia- Yes, fun loses a lot of its well... "fun" after a loss. I remember finding so many activities that I used to enjoy utterly pointless for many months after my babies died. Shopping for instance.
I'm glad the weekend wasn't too bad. But I'll bet you are tired. Too much social interaction used to just wipe me out. It still does sometimes.
Nothing, absolutley NOTHING terrifies me more than seeing old friends. It is the most unpredictable of situations... horrifying.
Glad to know it went well for you.
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