Monday, January 21, 2008

Nobody's fault

A friend told me today she has to pull away. It's ok. I understand. I am sad that I am making her sad. I am also selfishly sad for myself. But that's ok. This is how it goes, it is nobody's fault, and we tell each other all the time-- do what you have to do. I know this is only the beginning, and that's ok too.

So to any deadbabymama, or a plain old infertile, if it hurts too much to be here now or from now on, I understand, and I don't blame you. I will miss you, but don't worry about me. I have often said that those around us should not be making it our responsibility to make them feel better, that in fact people should take care of those among them who are in pain. And I like to practice what I preach. So if making you feel better means I have to step aside, that's exactly what I will do. I am a big girl, and I can handle it. I hope one day we can sit together again. But if not, please know that I wish you only the best, and I hope one day your heart is lighter.

I am turning off the comments on this. I don't want to make you feel like you have to reassure me that you are staying. I mean it-- if you have to go, go. If, however, you would like me to not comment on your blog either, please drop me an email. I promise I will not be offended-- I just want to do right by you.