Friday, July 6, 2007

How many children do you have?

The Parent Blogger Network is having themselves another blog blast. This is to celebrate the release of this new pregnancy book, which purports to be all that and a bag of chips. I went to the store to try to ascertain that for myself, but they didn't have it. And the PBN reviews don't start rolling till next week, so I am flying blind.

Them's the rules-- use an annoying pg/new mom question as the title and let loose in the post. You know this wasn't even a close one, right? The dreaded question. The one that weighs heavily on many a bereaved parent mind. I wasn't even going to say anything else, just point here, here, and here. Plus, in indication of nothing so much as of how small my circle of real-life interactions is, only one person, a masseuse, asked me this so far. Yes, really. I thought it would be relaxing. But I know more's coming, maybe even in a week, at the first summer event for Monkey's new school.

The blogblast people? They want snark. I wonder how to answer this question, the one that makes your insides go cold, how do you answer it with snark? Well, let me see. How about?..

Two, but one's not really good at all this socializing stuff-- he's dead.
Too morbid.

Why, is there a sale somewhere? Do tell-- I've been meaning to pick up a couple more. I seem to be pretty bad at this getting a take-home baby thing myself.
Too consumerist. Or is there such a thing?

And what is the most painful part of your life? Do you enjoy discussing it with strangers?
Too antagonistic.

Doesn't seem to be working. I think I will stick with my "one living child" for now. But of course, get me on a bad day, and I make no guarantees.

Teh rules again. I am supposed to end the post with the following:

Don't you wish you could've just handed them this?

Um? No! Because I have no idea what's IN the book. That's why I went to the store. But they don't have it, and Amazon doesn't even have the index of the book to search through. So I have no evidence whatsoever that this book is remotely sensitive or helpful, and I make it a point not to knowingly hand people things that may end up hurting them. Like cleavers and shotguns. Or books I know nothing about.

This last part was not part of teh rules, but you knew I wasn't going to just leave that question hanging, right?


Karianna said...

Yup. It is tough when a seemingly polite question ends up being not as simple as "small talk."

niobe said...

If they only knew how much we'd love to be asked any of those "annoying" questions?

Sara said...

Your "circle of real-life interactions" seems about the same size as mine. It's nice for now. I need to add a masseuse to mine though, really. But not the one you found, apparently.

I hope the event at Monkey's new school goes well, and I'll be here to hear/read the results.

And I have an annoying question for the "blog blast:" "So have you entered the honeymoon phase of pregnancy yet?" Um, when would that be? I think I passed it already, the only part of pregnancy that resembles a "honeymoon" for me would be the very first moment and I am grateful for that. But I wouldn't ask anyone how that went for them.

Bon said...

oh yes. i've already gone off on this question on some innocent person's blog, because i didn't know there was a blog blast. but oy.

i'm still working my way through answers i like. i get a lot of "is he your first?" with O, and "the first i brought home" just seems so...flip. and yet vague. but i hate the question, and am trying to strike it from my own list of inanities i ask people in moments of social nervousness. if i can at least spare myself treading on someone else's sadness, all good.

Lori said...

Those kinds of questions always leave me feeling as though I am awkwardly straddling between two worlds. Because as the mother of living children, I have answers to most of them. I can swap pregnancy stories, birth stories, spit up and sleepless nights stories etc... The problem is that no matter how much I have to offer as an answer, there is always a piece of the story I either have to leave out, or find the courage to tell.

But, as Niobe points out, I do know that I am lucky to have any answer at all to give.

S. said...

Julia, the book has a complete table of contents listed on Baker and Taylor's website. I'll email you the url and password.

Lill said...

Someone just asked me when I started saying I have two kids. (My 11 yr old son died 15 months ago.)The ironic thing is that I also had a son who died at 2 wks over thirty years ago, but I never thought of myself as the mother of 4. Still miss him though and wonder what he would have been like. It never goes away, does it, these holes in our lives. When people ask seemingly innocent questions that bring it all back, it just makes it worse.

Shine On,