I have been thinking about my RE's nurse, the one who I apparently upset by getting upset. One of the things Dr.YoungGun said when he called, that I noted but let go at the moment because I clearly had bigger fish to fry right then was something to the effect of "well, you are upset, and now she is upset, and you have to understand that might impact your care." Again, not vouching for this being a direct quote, but this was definitely the meaning I took from it-- that she may choose to treat me differently, worse, not to put too fine a point on it, that, perhaps, I might find my phone call returned late, or that the next time I am in, the exam table might just end up covered with fine sandpaper, and that he would find those things understandable. I noted at the time that it was a weird thing for him to say, to almost announce that they are putting in a separate entrance for the troublemakers, and that I should be a dear and use it from now on.
I emailed the nurse today to say I was sorry I upset her. Not because I am afraid of sandpaper, mind you, but because I figured everyone is entitled to have a bad day. And, if I am completely honest, because we are coming up on the weeks when we get various fun and exciting tests done again, and I would like the results of those before the 22nd century, thank you.
It is funny to me, though, that Dr.YoungGun even mentioned it, that he apparently considers it ok and inescapable that one's feelings for a patient might impact how that patient is treated. It seems to me you would at least try to be fair, to put your personal feelings aside because, dude, these are people you are dealing with here. A couple of years ago I had a student who I was sure cheated on an exam. I couldn't do anything about it because I didn't have any proof. Worst of all? The student wanted additional help. Came to my office hours, and even emailed to ask me to set up more meetings. I remember thinking that I would crack and go postal on the student. I remember my colleague and mentor telling me that there was nothing I could do-- when the student shows up for extra help, you treat that student like any other. Wasn't sure I could pull it off. But I did. The student, btw, cheated again on a later exam, and that time we caught her.
So show me your scars-- do you have to deal with unpleasant people? Do you think that what you think of them affects how you treat them?